I'll Miss This
by nestling
Summary: Yazoo is feeling rebellious...Loz is going to miss his brother dearly.. Suggested YazooxLoz? Hard fluff.


OKAY!

So finally I came around to submitting something!

This is verrrrrry short-- I had major writers block.

Well, okay.. I should do the disclaimer thingy nao....

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy and/or the characters involved... I'm just borrowing them for a bit.. I'll wash em' up and return them!

**WARNING::** This is most definately yaoi, and incestualllll. Don't read if you don't like. Easy peezy lemon squeezy.

I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to all of this. More to my life, more to this world that plummeted into such deep darkness, judgment was slurred and decisions were made that had no true meaning other than selfish intentions...

"Where are you going?" He near growled as his mako infused orbs glared unfathomably into me. I paused my movement abruptly and smirked apprehensively. I racked my brain for some sort of smart remark or excuse to get away….nothing. I was uneasy…he was catching on to my behavior quickly.

"How…could you possibly think to try to leave now that we're so CLOSE to finding Mother?" He strode angrily away from his laptop in the direction where I stood. I shrugged. What was I to say? That I lost all hope? That finding "Mother" wasn't going to fix anything? No heartache, no broken soul. Were those words ever to leave my lips? No, not if I wanted to get…

"Wipe that stupid smile off your face you buffoon."

"Kadaj- I..." My smile shrunk.

"Don't start with me. You know how important it is for us to find her- right? You still want to find her…don't you?"

I nodded hesitantly at first, but more convincingly when his face turned from anger to regret. I absolutely despised to see those eyes so close to tears…

"I was… was going to check up on Loz." I said finally when the thought crossed my mind. Loz. Loz, Loz, LOZ! He was away, working on something called a 'car' at the moment, so it was perfect. Kadaj tucked a stray lock of silver behind his ear and sighed.

"I thought… you didn't care anymore." He smiled, puckering his lips.

'No, never Kadaj, never! Because I'm totally fine with throwing my life away to something that isn't even real. ' I mused internally. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course I care." I said untruthfully as soon as his saddened eyes re-obtained their hard light of determination. I turned away from him.

"Well… I'll be back soon?" That was positive thinking.

* * *

"So. You still are thinking the same way?" Loz's muffled voice called from under the 'car' contraption. I called out a "yea". I leaned against the thing and frowned.

He slid from below the car and stared up at me, puzzling and unsure. He had known how much I've lost my faith in this whole plan. The situation called for willpower I could not possible hope or want to show, and determination and optimism I did not want to show. Loz had known that for a long time now. What he was wondering is how long I was going to last before Kadaj found out and killed me. I know he hated to think about that.

"Yazoo...be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt… "He said running his oily fingers through short, locks uncaringly. I smiled halfheartedly.

'I don't want to see you get hurt.'

As if I'd let **KADAJ** hurt me. He may have been our leader, but when it boiled down to it- I was older. A bit weaker--but older. I had that much defense.

"Well, whenever you decide to rebel completely and leave-"Loz completely slid from underneath the thing and stood, changing the subject, "-don't forget to say goodbye to me…okay?" His eyes were pleading. I smiled. Could I ever be so cruel?

"Of course I wouldn't forget." I closed the space between us."I love you too much."

Did that mean I didn't love Kadaj just as much? No. But Loz and I had shared something Kadaj couldn't even imagine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me to him and squeezed me tight. He held me in his stone cold grasp, letting his fingers trail up through my hair.

"I'll miss this." I murmured against his neck, kissing. He chuckled.

"Me too."

* * *

Chapter two, to be posted within 3-4 weeks time. (School is a BITCH!!)


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